Logic And Society Must Both Submit To Testosterone
There’s a problem with rational self-interest and logical reasoning: it’s inhuman. As in, humans have hardwired behavior patterns set by God and not easily altered by force of will. A basic example is the current dating/marriage situation, for which… today, as always… ever more demands are made of young men who have no ability to either conjure a unicorn, predict the future, or turn off his hormones until unicorns happen spontaneously.
I won’t be identifying the author this time. A couple months ago, I did a takedown on a Manosphere guy who, in my opinion, was flirting dangerously with the occult. While I take back nothing I said regarding the occult, in hindsight, the article sounded ad hominem to the point that readers didn’t hear my arguments. Time for a new approach.
Story
GunnerQ goes to a new church.
GQ: “Hello, peeps! I am a Bible-thumping Protestant!”
Everybody: “Welcome to First Baptist Church, GunnerQ! We are also Bible-thumping Protestants!”
GQ: “Why don’t your women wear head coverings? Is Associate Pastor Susan really a female in authority over men?”
Sudden silence.
“Changing the subject, I have some ideas for leading a study group and do you mind if I circulate a petition to preserve the men’s room for men’s use only? Your current arrangement, ladies’ and all-genders, clearly violates Genesis chapter 1.”
Icy glares.
“You have a Star of David on the wall. Do you remember what Jesus said about Jews in the Bible?”
Next week, GunnerQ goes to a new church…
That’s basically my adult experience in the Church. I eventually reached the truth that humans are irrational. Our behavior is NOT based on reason. Our behavior is based on worship. Our beliefs bend our thoughts and actions, sometimes to the point of literally saying one thing while doing the opposite.
Being reasonable is not enough.
Article
…There is a time for a man to be emotionally invested in a relationship and there is a time for a man NOT to be emotionally invested in a [romantic] relationship.
And what is that time? At least the first six months of a relationship [prior to marriage].
Six months? I remember going on a first date and being unable to avoid looking at her chest for a single minute. The girl wasn’t even attractive. She was fat* and a few seconds after opening her mouth, disqualified. But I was young, dumb and full of… emotional investment. Do old men remember being young at all, when they advise a young man to control himself? A young man doesn’t choose to be unaffected by hormones for the exact, same, literally chemical reason that a junkie doesn’t choose to die of an overdose.
*Dating pro-tip: never do a blind date at a pizzeria, especially if she agrees.
I have talked with too many men, too many men over the years whose problems stemmed from the fact that they could not resist becoming emotionally attached to a particular woman before she had been properly vetted for a relationship. So many difficult and problematic situations could be avoided entirely if men could learn to exercise a little restraint in this department.
But men are wired to be like that. We have literal wiring, imposed by God to teach us about our relationship to Him in ways that bypass the intellect entirely. A smart move on God’s part.
Men are supposed to be in love, or lust, when they first get married. The hardwiring men have, is that those early happy experiences will give him “wife goggles” to help him through the inevitable hard spots of marriage. It’s emotional behavior, not rational behavior, but it’s how God made us.
We should deal with men as they are, not as they should be. Meanwhile…
This is not to say that men should never become emotionally invested in a woman, just that you damn well better be sure that that woman is safe and trustworthy and competent and loyal before you do so.
It would be reasonable if women were wired to be safe, trustworthy and loyal. But they aren’t. Women are wired for attention and money. I almost said kids, too, except women must be taught to not kill their own babies. A hundred million abortions say it ain’t wired.
We should deal with women as they are, not as they should be.
The problem isn’t men desiring women too much, it’s all of society… not just the government… leveraging that natural desire like they’re baiting a fish hook.
My dudes, there is a reason why buyers expect a diligence period before any big purchase like a business or a house. They don’t yet know what they’re dealing with. They don’t yet know whether the particular opportunity in front of them is actually what they want and hope it to be, and if they don’t figure that out before the sale, it’s going to be their problem after they hand over the money.
Courtship/marriage is not remotely analogous to buying a house. An honest attempt would be something like… advising homeless men to endure six months of winter before closing escrow, in case the roof has a leak.
Similarly, men should consider the first six months minimum to be the diligence dating period. Why six months? Because it typically takes at least that long to reach the crisis of disillusionment in which the projected fantasy to which you have been attracted is shattered by the reality of who the other person actually is.
“I want you to be happily married, so I advise you to wait on marriage until you skip the honeymoon phase and see exactly how much it’ll suck.” Statements like that are why I feel the need to quote other people in the first place, because I can’t make up this stuff.
The fantasy of “hot wife loves me forever” is a feature, not a bug. The blame for that fantasy’s inevitable doom lies upon the other parties to the marriage. I have seen several of my married peers go through living hells trying to keep his family together. There was no sacrifice he wouldn’t make, to keep the marriage together.
There was no sacrifice sufficient.
So, no more blaming the man, please. And the Regime isn’t going to change anytime soon. Therefore, if you still want the young to have any sane option for family life, start shaming the fathers & clergy and threatpointing the women. You know, the people responsible for marriage being a horribly dangerous gamble for men. Men cannot try any harder. Author here, is out of his mind if he thinks it’s even possible for a young man to closely observe a bangable chick for over six months of not actually banging her.
And if you decide to give your heart to a woman before you can see who she really is, then you’re not just gambling… You’re gambling without even bothering to learn the rules of the game!
You don’t ever get to know who another person really is. That can be a good thing.
Story
A happily married couple go home after celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. The wife speaks. “Honey, there’s something I need to tell you. I don’t love you and I never did. I’ve been faking it for thirty years. I just wanted to have a good life.”
The husband smiles. “That’s fine, dear. Keep faking it for another thirty years, and we’ll have that good life. You’re doing great!”
Marital rules are diabolically toxic today. I admit that. Being careful who you marry is a prudent idea. I admit that. But “overcome your urges before seeking the solution to your urges” is as opposed to God’s design of human behavior, as feminism. God Himself said a clear-thinking man is better off as a bachelor.
There’s no shame in having no solution to offer young men. There is great shame in offering a solution that sounds good but is hopelessly unrealistic and subtly blames the wrong party. That’s the kind of reasoning that leads some Christians to say they believe the Bible, while dismissing the Bible as culturally irrelevant.
Do they ever notice, that their dissonance comes from abetting female rebellion? Exactly the Eden story? Does Author? He is also ratcheting the demands upon the man, with no declared expectations of the woman.
The male sex drive is a need to be met, not a moral failing to be overcome. It cannot be wished away and the people demanding that, don’t even want the successful result of men no longer being tempted to marry. They just want to not blame the woman.
If it’s not safe for a man to fall in love, then it’s not the man who needs to try harder. It’s not the man who needs to take severe measures to override his natural instincts. It’s the entire rest of society because falling in love is a divinely created, if irrational behavior. Is my demand reasonable? Probably not, but it’s what God wants, and one shouldn’t demand that God be reasonable about His wants. His foolishness is wiser than Aristotle.
Let’s start directing helpful suggestions at the people who CAN alter the current, unacceptable situation.
GunnerQ goes to a new church.
Everybody: “Welcome to our family, fellow believer! How can we serve you?”
GunnerQ: “I don’t have the gift of celibacy. Which man here has a marriageable virgin of age?”
Sudden silence.
“YOU!!! When the other pastors warned us, we thought they were joking!”
“Be reasonable, people. Where else is a godly man supposed to find… uh-oh…”